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Good day everybody. Welcome to Friday. You made it to the tip of the week. Congrats. I’ve a deal with for you all: Taco Bell’s 2024 Stay Mas Occasion. What’s that? It’s mainly a Taco Bell mini-E3 full with musical acts, bulletins, and all of the cringey moments you crave from one thing like this. Sure, in case you guessed that this is able to be a bizarre, late-capitalist fever dream, you’re appropriate.
I had no thought this occasion was occurring till somebody on Twitter started tweeting about it. I instantly dropped all the pieces and began watching.
The occasion opened with Taco Bell’s CEO displaying up and speaking about how nice the quick meals chain is and the way anybody can take pleasure in its large tacos and burritos. For example this, he pointed to a tweet that I’m 98% sure is a joke and wasn’t meant to be taken severely by anybody, particularly not the dude working Taco Bell. It referred to as Taco Bell “the final nice melting pot of sophistication on this nation.”
After that, there was some extra fluff, and I’ll be trustworthy with you all: When you tuned into this occasion for giant information in regards to the Baja Blast or what’s subsequent for Taco Bell’s menu, you had been most likely a bit pissed off by all of the fluff stuffed into this Ubisoft circa 2015 convention.
At one level, somebody started handing out awards to people for finest menu hack and finest Taco Bell wedding ceremony. In a while, the entire occasion stopped for a couple of minutes to let two dudes play some acoustic music. They sounded high quality, however digicam pictures of the gang (together with a dude’s hat that had “Moist Desires Surf Membership” emblazoned on it) appeared to point that the room was very a lot not into this vibe and simply wished to know what new slop Taco Bell was dropping.
Lastly, after practically half-hour of…no matter that each one was, the chief advertising officer at Taco Bell, Taylor Montgomery, confirmed as much as ship some Taco Bell product information to thunderous applause and cheering. The information: Taco Bell desires to and plans on making its in style nacho fries everlasting menu objects. However they’re nonetheless making an attempt to “determine” how. Okay…
After that, he gave us a shadow-drop (it’s identical to Hello-Fi Rush on the Xbox Developer Direct!), saying a brand new “Tacky Rooster Crispanda,” a shredded cheese-filled, chicken-stuffed empanada. Of us gasped (not kidding) when he confirmed that this new menu merchandise can be obtainable nationwide subsequent week.
Subsequent up, he revealed Taco Bell is bringing hen nuggets to the menu. On the sight of those fried bits of hen, somebody within the crowd yelled out “No method!” Montgomery was fast to answer: “Sure method! Whoever mentioned ‘no method,’ YES WAY lady!”
Then, after some airhorns, Montgomery revealed a brand new “very restricted time” merchandise: Baja Blast ice cream. It’s deliberate to launch this summer season. I assume at this level not less than one individual within the viewers had fainted from all of the Taco Bell information. It was simply an excessive amount of.
And for all you sauce packet sickos, Taco Bell is aware of you’re uninterested in the boring previous packets. So it’s altering them up this yr and we acquired our first have a look at the brand new ones. Thrilling stuff, people. I’m vibrating.
However Taco Bell wasn’t achieved. No. In spite of everything that, Montgomery confirmed a picture of a Crunchwrap and mentioned, “Appears like a daily Crunchwrap, proper?” Of us, that’s your first clue that the person is about to trick you all. And he did. It seems, it wasn’t a daily Crunchwrap (GASP!) however in truth it contained an enormous Cheez-It.
“Ooohhhhhhh!!” went many people within the viewers. “WAAHhh!” yelled another person at this revelation.
“I current to you: the Cheez-It Crunchwrap!” Extra cheering adopted. In line with Montgomery, this new merchandise can be obtainable at each Taco Bell this summer season. The occasion then ended with a rap break.
Take pleasure in your weekend people, and bear in mind to Stay Mas!
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