Donald Trump’s $99 Digital Buying and selling Playing cards Are Saddest Factor Ever

When you or a far-right-pilled relative needs to be a mark in Donald Trump’s newest grift, you’re in luck. For the low low value of $99 and your irreplaceable dignity, now you can personal an official Donald Trump NFT.

The brand new, costly non-fungible token is outwardly the “main announcement” Trump first teased yesterday, in a Fact Social submit declaring that “AMERICA NEEDS A SUPERHERO!” The accompanying teaser video confirmed a short glimpse of a muscled, Trump-like determine adorned like Superman, full with animated lasers beaming from its eyes. And now we all know: That “main announcement” is only a new line of NFTs.

I went to Trump’s account on Fact Social so that you just don’t need to. The previous president wrote:

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT! My official Donald Trump Digital Buying and selling Card assortment is right here! These restricted version playing cards characteristic wonderful ART of my Life & Profession! Acquire your entire favourite Trump Digital Buying and selling Playing cards, very very similar to a baseball card, however hopefully far more thrilling. Go to collecttrumpcards.com/ & GET YOUR CARDS NOW! Solely $99 every! Would make a fantastic Christmas reward. Don’t Wait. They are going to be gone, I consider, in a short time!

Other than Trump capturing flaming lasers out of each of his eyes, different NFTs within the vary characteristic him photoshopped awkwardly in gaudy outfits. However wait, there’s extra! When you purchase one in every of these “digital collectibles,” you can win the chance to satisfy him over dinner, play a spherical of golf, or converse to the ex-president over a Zoom name.

I don’t know what’s extra miserable: the sheer insecurity that oozes from these NFT buying and selling playing cards, or the plausibility that his cult of Republican goons would possibly really buy these in droves. There’s additionally an opportunity that he’s promoting this junk to fund his subsequent presidential marketing campaign (he formally introduced his intention to run final month).

The crypto business is rife with scammers who efficiently run off with hundreds of thousands of {dollars}, so I’m really shocked that it’s taken him this lengthy to start out peddling a “digital collectible.” I’m guessing that he didn’t have a lot free time whereas he was busy keeping off 4 main prison investigations. Final December, the courts dominated towards the Trump Group for tax fraud. In August, the FBI raided his membership at Mar-a-Lago and found that he had taken paperwork associated to nuclear weapons.The New York Legal professional Normal lately sued the Trump household for monetary fraud. Final month, Trump was subpoenaed to testify in entrance of the committee investigating the January 6 rebel.

If he manages to promote 40 of those “buying and selling playing cards,” then he’d have the ability to repay the $4,000 he owes for being present in contempt of court docket on Tuesday. I want him all one of the best.